Eagle Creek Polar Plunge 2012

Before the plunge. Notice how the rescue workers are dressed.

The day has arrived and I survived. Still have 10 fingers and 10 toes and a few hours later I'm able to type this, a success it was. I had been interested in doing an official Polar Plunge this Winter just to do something different and a little crazy. The first thing that came up on my Google search was an event held close to my home and for a great cause, the Indiana Special Olympics. Most people probably don't realize that it's not free to participate in these games. While many families may be able to pay for their loved ones, there are many more who cannot and deserving people who could benefit greatly from being a part of the Special Olympics.

The kids and I pre-costume change and plunge.

Kids and the Polar Plunge Bear.

I decided to test my body heat armor theory by running the 5 miles from my house to the beach where I would later be charging the frozen water. I was warm after the first mile, the sun was shining, the wind was calm. Then I hit the lake and suddenly there was a constant 30 MPH wind. I figured I would register and hit some trails to keep the warmth until dip time. Nope, I needed to wait in line with several hundred other people to get registered (my only complaint of the entire event). They should have formed lines by last name like most packet pick ups for bigger races and events. But, they did a great job anyway and everyone there was a volunteer or fundraiser. I raised $175 dollars for the Special Olympics. Everyone was supposed to raise at least $70 to participate. A big thank you to all the event volunteers, everyone was friendly and helpful and made sure to thank all the fundraisers for taking part.

 
Stripping down and showing off those pasty runners legs. I am not photogenic. I'm also pretending it's not cold.

Eventually everyone got registered and the events were under way. There was a costume contest, but I skipped out despite dressing up. Everyone who was doing the contest was part of a team and I didn't want to be the only solo. And one other thing, Miss Indiana and Miss Indiana teen where the contest judges. Parading around in Daisy Dukes being judged by beauty pageant winners was not on this runners agenda. Next year there will be a Daisy Duke squad! The contest winners were four guys dressed up like professional wrestlers: Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, and some unknowns. Second place was a family dressed up like loofahs. The dad gave my props and threw me knuckles for the daisy dukes.

Saluting the crowd (summoning courage).

Onward to the plunge. I was grouped with some other solo dippers. They put everyone in a big tent out of the wind, grouped us off by teams, and sent us out in waves to hit the water. Official reports were the water was as cold as it gets, 33 degrees. Topped off with temperatures in the 20's and 30 mph winds, this polar plunge was no joke. Some people only got in to there midsections. I made sure to dive under water twice. Your brain literally turns off when you are that cold. I couldn't figure out which direction to go once out of the water and only knew I wanted to run, get some pictures, and get dry. The sun felt like a warm blanket and as my skin warmed up it felt like I was being poked by a million needles. Honestly, I didn't hurt. The whole experience was a lot of fun and I'm proud to have been a part. Next time I want you there with me representing the Daisy Dukes.

CHARGE!

Proof I made it under water, look for the splash and the foot sticking out.

Shaking it off, brrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Just keep running, just keep running, just keep running.

Thanks for reading!

Weekly round-up 02/24/12

Life is busy and I'm working hard to find that balance between being a father, runner, recovering alcoholic, and gainfully employed. Every aspect has it's demands, but I need them all. Tomorrow is the Eagle Creek Polar Plunge! I've got a great costume and plans to post lots of embarrassing pictures for everyone else's enjoyment. My plan is to run from home to Eagle Creek, put in some trail miles, and then meet my family and get changed into costume for the plunge. Hopefully, this way my body will be putting off enough heat to act like armor against the frigid water. I know this isn't really going to work, but choose to maintain the delusion anyway.

So I get questions from people from time to time about what being an alcoholic, things like:

- What does it mean to be an alcoholic?
- What it's like?
- Do I have a problem,?
- Does my friend have a problem?
- Will you ever be able to drink normally,?
- Do you think about drinking all the time?

I'm working on a post to answer these questions. But first, I would like to get more questions. Go ahead ask. No question is dumb, no question will go unanswered and you can remain anonymous if you would like. Ask me about running, drinking, being a dad, personal history, AA, finding a sponsor, getting sober, whatever is on your mind. You can ask your question as a comment on this post, send me a tweet or DM @jbakeindy, or to keep it anonymous send me an e-mail, bakedaddy@gmail.com. By asking a question, you are really doing me a favor and helping me do some critical thinking. I learn best from teaching. There are many misconceptions about who or what an addict is, in respect to alcohol or drugs. I will do my best to give you the take from an insider.

I really like to share some fun video or music on Fridays. This week I have a new release from Kassidy. If you missed the last one, check my older weekly round-up post for the video to I Don't Know. I've said it before, but these guys are new and talented. Their music was just released in the U.S a few weeks ago and is sure to start picking up steam. Listen to this song once and you will find yourself humming the melody 10 minutes later and queuing it back up again.

Kassidy - I Can't Fly

I ain't as good as I'm gonna get (But I'm better than I used to be)

Three Lakes Loop: I love the feel of soft needle covered trails, the scent of pine wafting with every step. (Photos courtesy of Terry Fletcher and my favorite trail running community Indiana Trail Running.)

I'm still here and going strong. No posts last week, it was a week of learning rather than sharing. Today I'm feeling inspired to write, and let everyone know I'm sober and improving. I'm doing my best to keep every post somehow tied into running and somehow tied into recovery. I've had an idea for a post shaping and melding in my brain for the past week. It finally hit that moment of transformation from loose concepts and themes to a printable post this morning on my drive in to work.

"I ain't as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be."

- Sammy Kershaw, Tim McGraw

Most recently I heard this lyric from Tim McGraw and it spoke to me and where I am in life (something told me I had heard it before, turns out Sammy sang it first, I've been listening to country since I was 7 years old living in Texas). The moment I heard the song I knew I wanted to write about it. I feel as though I've come a long way, but there is so much further to go. For me, sobriety isn't just about not drinking, but about becoming the best person I can be. I want more than anything to be the best man I can be. The first step is sobriety. Alcohol turned me into a lot of things I didn't want to be. I never lost all of myself, but I wasn't always the man I know I could be.

The same goes for running. I've come a long way. In fact I literally ran 26.2 miles this weekend. Six months ago that would have seemed impossible. Running a 2 mile loop twice was a long run for me back in August. I can feel in my soul there is so much more ground these legs can, want, and will cover. Saturday I ran 16.2 with a new friend I've made running. We had a great time crossing creeks, climbing up-hills, and bombing down-hills. We did our best not to fall around some really technical trail sections down in Morgan Monroe on Saturday morning. 

Sunday I went back for another 10 miles. I really like solo running. It gives me a chance to get lost in my head. Sunday I used my time to focus on other people. I thought about all the trials, tribulations, and sadness that other people have to face on a daily basis rather than my own problems. To be honest, it made my problems seem trivial. All I could feel was an extreme gratefulness to be in such a beautiful place, with the health and courage to run 10 miles of difficult terrain. I'm blessed to have what I have and be who I am.

Three Lakes Loop: Byron Lake, a gorgeous February day for a run.

Three Lakes Loop: Into the forest we go.

So how do I get there, to that place where I am a better runner and a better man? I've taken a couple of steps. About a month ago I walked into my first AA meeting. Can't remember the last time I had been so nervous or afraid to do something. Even as an alcoholic I was afraid other alcoholics wouldn't accept me as one of their own. Like somehow I was a fake. Thankfully I couldn't have been more wrong. It's the best decision I have made in maintaining a sober lifestyle. The community was and is over pouring with encouragement and acceptance. I felt at home from the first meeting. Fellowship with like minded people is key to this sobriety thing. I don't feel so alone when I walk through the doors of a meeting and I've been getting to 3-4 a week. 

On the running front I've made some great new friends and also have a regularly meeting run group. We don't have a name yet, but we're going to make shirts and it's going to be awesome. I've found an incredibly supportive online community of running friends through Daily Mile, blogging, and Twitter. I've got a directory of people I can call up or message and say hey "wanna go for a run this weekend" and be guaranteed to find someone shouting "Yes, name the place and time!"

It's with all honesty, sincerity, gratefulness, and hope that I can say thank you to you all, I ain't as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be. Hang in there with me.

All photos courtesy of Terry Fletcher at Indiana Trail Running, who happened to be out on the same trails this past weekend and thought to bring a camera.

Ultradrinking and Ultrarunning

I tore through a short biography, a novela maybe, in the last 45 minutes. I don't rightly know how long it is as it has only been digitally released and never meant for the paperback.  The dude, and rightfully called, who put these words to type is a man much like myself, only a few years older, sober, and trail hardened. An ultradrinker turned ultrarunner, Mishka Shubaly.

The Long Run is the bookish thing I read and everything is still spinning fresh in my head. In the near future I want to read it again immediately before heading out for a solo long run and see what happens. For now I want you to read it, here's my take and then a few quotes to get you hooked. Expect to read half memoir of an alcoholic misspent youth followed by years of touring in a boozey drug induced state. Mikasha writes of love lost, fortune gained and immediately spent, pain and nightmares bordering a mind lost the distinction of knowing wakefulness from sleep. At some point the anger turns him to run. The run releases him from anger, and the ultrarunner is born. I promise it's a quick read and engaging from start to finish, but then again I've always been a sucker for story of the substance abuser, even before I was one. Interesting.

"I drank because I wanted to drink. Every single drink, every single drug I took, I took because I a made the decision to get fucked up and fuck the consequences. I was sad and angry and a little alcohol made me feel better. It took a long time to realize alcohol made me feel worse. Whoops."

- Mikasha Shubaly, The Long Run

Yes I drank because I wanted to. I usually kept drinking because I wanted to, but I couldn't stop. That first drink pours in and the thirst is only truly quenched from blacking out or passing out. Always, I drank more than I intended. If I stopped, it was only to resume later on my own without judgement. I can remember that first beer. So many people remember hating their first beer. I loved mine and everything about it. It was a long neck bud light, ice cold, in a friends basement shooting a game of pool when I was barely 18. I had tried beer before, but this was the first that was mine and legit. I felt the alcohol coursing through me as I finished the drink a few minutes later. All I could think was, "Sign me up, I can't believe this is what I have been missing." The alcoholic signs were ever present. I would have drank more, but 7-8 beers later and the stock was empty, damn. It was all over from there. A quick rise in tolerance. Soon I was off to college where I really honed my drinking skills. Anyway, back to the quote. I don't blame it on the alcohol, it was always me, but my alcoholic mind, the thirst was always there. Guess I'm not normal. When it comes to beer I'm all in or all out. There is not middle ground.

"And when you treat your body like a science experiment, whether with ultrarunning or ultradrinking, you spend a lot of time sleeping and a lot of time in pain."

- Mikasha Shubaly, The Long Run

I couldn't sleep when I drank. After a multi-day weekend bender ending Sunday night. I would be in bed by 10 and up at 1 consumed with cold sweats, accompanied by a tremendous overwhelming sense of guilt so powerful I can't relate in words. My mind felt disconnected from my body, from my soul. Hanging on by a few fragments of wire unable to complete thoughts and wanting nothing more than to be overcome by sleep and it not happening for more than 15 minutes at a time. But, if you asked me then, I didn't have a problem. Whoops. Now I'm all out and writing my own story of recovery. Sleeping I can't do enough of either, it comes with ease and I've never felt better. I may not be an ultrarunner yet, but I'm on my way. Running, I'm all in.

Lone Wolf at Turkey Run (Picture heavy post...now with bonus video)

This was the only Turkey I saw, stuffed in the nature center which turned out to be a nice warm place to use the bathroom and change out of my soaking wet clothes before driving home.

I was craving some adventure and some lone trail time this past weekend. It's long been on my list to head west to Turkey Run or Shades and do some trail running and exploration. So, I mustered some courage, braved the rain, and made the hour drive. Turns out it was the perfect day to run. Muddy, but not too muddy. Distinct lack of other people. The creeks were low, ankle to shin deep and most crossings were jumpable for me being 6'3". Many of the trails are the canyon carved creek beds themselves, wading through the icy water was the only way to go in some cases.  I was hoping to put in 15-20 miles, but 3 hours on my feet was the real goal. I stopped to take pictures whenever the mood struck and made a pit stop at mile 10 for a hot cup of coffee and a honey stinger waffle.

This was my farthest distance ever in my Merell Trail Gloves and they did the job perfectly. I did find they are not very good on wet rocks and slippery wet wooden stairs. But I'm not sure anything is. They dried very quickly, didn't hold any water in at all. The only two times I fell, I was thinking distinctly about how great I was doing not falling on both occasions. The first time was on the last down step of a wooden staircase. The second spill came right after mile 13 on some wet rock and put me knee deep in a creek of ice cold water. After wading through 32 degree water for what felt like the 7th time on a sub 40 degree day, my legs said "enough!" So I walked the final mile back to the car. It was a great run, but I could see how during heavier tourist days it would be almost impossible to run here with all the traffic and limited trail space. Well that and not all of the terrain is actually runnable; wet rocks, boulders, roots and the hills! Did I mention the hills? I gained 1700 ft and lost 1700 ft over the course of 14 miles.  My hill mantra was "Holy Hills Batman" over and over again on every hill and every stair case. With plenty of connecting trails it is a great place to run when the they are your own and an absolutely gorgeous gem of a state park in Indiana.

The Turkey Run Trail System.

The Trails which I ran.

Sugar Creek. Covered Bridge at a distance

Entrance to the covered bridge. I totally broke the rules and ran.

Boulder Canyon found on trail 9. It's much steeper than it appears and one of those "unrunnable" sections of trail. But it was fun and I imagined myself as a mountain goat jumping from rock to rock.

Some of the lovely creek beds I ran, hopped, waded, hiked. Yes, the creek is the trail.

The ladders! This part was really cool, and really dangerous being as though I was soaked from rain and mud.

Punch Bowl, this would be fun to play in if it were hot out. Being sub 40 and not directly on the trail. I just gazed in awe.

 One of a few waterfalls I ran by.

Gobble Gobble, The End!

Bonus Video Footage of the ladders...they were really cool. I was excited when I saw them.

Weekly Round up 02/03/12

It's super friday here in the super bowl town, which means nothing special for me. I'm still working like everyone else and my office isn't downtown. However, I do have some super plans and will be enjoying my first super bowl super sober style. I made it downtown to check out the scene earlier this week and caught a Pacer game with some good friends on Tuesday night and saw the giant roman numerals by the monument. No pictures though because I'm sure you've seen enough of them in your Facebook news stream already.

Honestly I had been in a deep funk Monday-Wednesday of this week. Not sure where it came from, but it hit me suddenly and hard. By Wednesday night I didn't know what to do. That is until I was driving home trying to convince myself to put in some sort of work out, but nothing sounded appealing. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. The weather is warm, the mood is right, how about some long run therapy. It sounded perfect and worked out perfectly. I had an idea that I wanted to get in at least 10 miles, no goal on time or pace, but most importantly I wanted to run in familiar places that were meaningful to me.

The places that came to mind (ones appealing for a road run anyway) were all in town so I drove to the parking lot of my gym and set out in the dark around 7:30 PM. I ran a familiar route that carried me past my grandparents house 3.6 miles into the run. I made an aid station stop, got a hug from grandma and a host of ego boosting compliments, "Josh, you look younger every time I see you. You're so cute. Are you sure you should be running in the dark, all those drivers out there going to fast?" I appeased her concerns by convincing her my running jacket is high vis when headlights shine toward me and I attached my spare hat light to the back side of my running packet. I gulped down a blackberry GU topped off my water and headed back out for the rest of my run, still having no idea of how far it would actually be. I hit up Blast Off park and Arbuckle Acres, both places I take the kids to play, and ran their paved trails. I rounded out of the park and shot across the street to split the alley between the hometown insurance agency and Dean's Rent All. As I passed town hall and the police station, 10 miles ticked off on my Garmin and my legs were aching to kick it up a gear. I hadn't been doing anything but cruising, kind of a Sunday joy ride kind of speed. I downed my last GU and finished off the remaining water in my hand held and cruised a little faster toward the high school. I kicked out 4.2 more miles at a sub 9 speed, one of the miles at 8:32.

Back to my car, done with the run, I physically felt great and mentally at peace. I felt as though I could have easily ticked off another 5-6 miles. Well, if I had any more GU and water, or places I wanted to run. I continue to surprise myself. This was a distance PR for me, 14.2 miles and only a few days after running my first half marathon. I'm contemplating crushing that PR tomorrow on some trails, but nothing for sure yet, don't want to over do it. In other running news I logged 113 miles in the month of January running on and another 20 on the row machine. My first ever 100 mile month!

I've got a couple of really cool videos to share for all you runners and readers out there. I swiped them both from Dax at Dirty Running. The first is a spin off of the wildly popular  Shit Girls Say. Everyone is making spin offs and the runner community has done it well. Dax made his own:

Shit Ultra Runners Say

I didn't really steal the videos, they are available on youtube for all. Great job Dax.

The second video is really well produced interview with ultra runner Tim Waggoner. You can get to know him and his training better at his blog Joghard. I love that blog title!. Tim is better known under his pseudonym Lucho in the online ultra running community. The interview gives a really cool perspective on the philosophy of running and training. I highly recommend the 5 minutes it takes to watch even for non runners, it's inspiring.

I wouldn't have ever seen this had Dax not posted it to his blog first, hence I swiped it from him for all of you to say. If you're a run blogger of any sort and into the trail thing, Dirty Running is great read.

Crewing for Recovery

"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment." Mark Twain

(I haven't checked the accuracy of this quote, but it sounds Mark Twainy to me and deeply resonates.)

As I move forward with my life and my newfound identity (you know, embracing myself as an alcoholic and a runner, a person in recovery, a man with hope developing a plan) I'm finding all kinds of parallels to recovery and running. It's safe to say we all have that voice; the one who tells you that you can't or you're not good enough. The task at hand is simply too hard and beyond your capability. All of you runners, or anyone who has even attempted any endurance activity at all, knows this voice well. It's the one that tries to keep you inside on a day with bad weather. It's the one that pops up in the first 3 miles of a long run and says you just don't have it in you today, or you can turn around now and still say you did something today, nothing to be ashamed of. Well those of us in recovery, anyone trying to kick any bad habit, have the same voice trying to poison us with the same message; "You can't do this!"

Right now I'm happy, ecstatic, in tune, motivated, hopeful, and downright excited about being sober. Don't get me wrong, I still have the urge to drink, it's early in this new life. But I have confidence. I also know myself well, and some of this excitement is bound to wear off. I know there are going to be some darker days ahead, life works that way. The excitement and the newness will wane, and that voice might come knocking. So what do I do?

Well, I've been listening to some really great podcasts from the guys and gals of Trail Runner Nation about ultra running. I have plans to conquer distances greater than the almighty 26.2. But steps, the 26.2 is getting checked off first and I'm pumped for April 28th when I run the Potato Creek Full Trail Marathon. In one of the shows they were interviewing some seasoned 100 mile ultra runners and talking about the emotional spectrum that comes with running such awesome distances. There are extreme highs, and extreme lows. Nobody that runs 100 miles zips along without thinking at some point that it's just not possible and they should drop out. From what I understand the lows are very very very low. After 50-70 miles your body and mind are stripped of everything, you don't know how to respond and are often looking to those around you to figure out how you should feel. 

It's kind of like this. Think about how when a toddler runs into a table and hits his head and has that initial moment of shock. The tot then looks around befuddled to his parents and is trying to figure out how to respond. If the parent immediately goes "Oh my God, are you ok, you poor baby" the kid is sure to cry every time. That's how the parent has told him to feel. If the parent laughs or benignly neglects the incident (in good nature and keeping an eye out to make sure it's not serious) and isn't shocked, the tot will laugh it off or just keep on trucking. It's a lot like that in these moments of running. Ultra runners need a team around them that give them that positive feedback, tell them how to feel in a supportive way. Embrace the pain and keep kicking ass. The point is that you have to train for these moments, you have to be prepared that at some point you are going to feel like a truck and trailer ran you over.

It's also like that in recovery. I know I feel great now, and I'm going to for a while. How long? I can't say. But eventually, it's going to ware off a bit, the motivation is going to wane, bumps in the road will come and bad things will happen. When they do, I'm going to have the old habit wanting to come around. That little voice is going to say "This is too hard, you can't do it, just drink this once, it's ok." Eventually, the truck is going to hit me and I have to be prepared. So I'm keeping this blog, setting goals that I can't achieve if I am drinking, and surrounding myself with positive support and people who understand.  I don't envision myself becoming a broken shell of a man sitting in a crappy basement room of a small church attending AA meetings angry and jaded for the rest of my life. I'm just being real and acknowledging there will be points when using is going to seem much more appealing than it does right now and I need to be ready for it. My success depends on preparation.

Ultra runners have a "crew" for big events. People that run with them through portions of the race, set up at aid stations and make sure they get what they need, and give them the positivity and encouragement one needs to conquer 100 miles. So thank you to everyone who is jumping on my crew. I need you and am going to need you more one day. Every word of support is more valuable than you know. Thanks for being on my crew everyone!

Photo courtesy new friend and crew member Ben L. over at Hoosier Trail Runner